3 Things to teach you when you encounter setbacks in your job

Try to think about your friend who was too busy recently and accidentally had an error at work and was beaten by his client. When he and you complained about this difficult thing, how would you respond?

We changed the roles again. We were on a business trip at work because we were too busy. You were blocked by our customers. How would you say to yourself?

Maybe in the above examples you will find that we always speak to our friends very warm, friendly, and exciting, but we are very strict with ourselves. This kind of severity may reduce the number of mistakes, making you less confident, and always feel that you are not good, and you are easily trapped in anxiety and anxiety when you encounter setbacks. If you do, Self Compassion techniques can help you regain your confidence.

What is "self-sympathy"?

When self-sympathy is literally interpreted, it probably means being a little better to yourself, and it doesn't seem difficult, but many people are difficult to do it, because the sentence "regard yourself strictly and treat others well" has affected many people, and it seems very natural to be serious about yourself. Otherwise, how can you make progress and become a better and stronger person?

In fact, self-compassion and tolerance are different. Self-compassion is not about ignoring the mistakes you have made, or making yourself stop moving forward, but can allow you to look at the setbacks and challenges you encounter with a more objective and healthier perspective, and will not fall into excessive self-responsibility and self-confidence, making your emotions more flexible, and when you encounter pressure and setbacks, you can have better responses. When your emotions become healthy, work efficiency and human relations will also improve.

Psychologist Dr. Kristin Neff divides the elements of "self-sympathy" into the following three:

1. Be kind to yourself

The setbacks and failures you encounter sometimes may not be your personal mistakes, work errors, or errors in communication between the two parties; emotional failures may be just inappropriate for each other; unemployment may be caused by changes in the major environment. If you always lose your failures, it may be caused by "personal factors", such as being too stupid, too careless, and too incompetent, you will only fall into negative emotions.

Looking at your failure with a more objective and empathetic perspective is the first step to being kind to yourself. You can speak to yourself in the way you usually speak to your friends.

2. Joint experience

Some setbacks are experienced by most people, such as career difficulties, failures, or common mistakes in their careers. When you focus on "why these things happen to me" and ignore that many people have the same experience as you, you will easily be overly ruthless and feel isolated and helpless.

3. The meaning of mindfulness

is that when negative thoughts appear in the brain, we do not need to rush to deny it, suppress it, nor do we have to overestimate it. If these thoughts are regarded as moths flying into your home accidentally, it will not really hurt you. You just need to observe it with an open, curious and uncritical mindset. It will fly out. Mindfulness skills can make our emotions more flexible.

If you think you are a person who is prone to thinking too much, being easily injured, being self-doubted, and falling into negative emotions, starting to practice "self-compassion" from the above three aspects will make you more willing and confident to face all kinds of unsatisfactory moments in life. Just as psychologist Dr. Kristin Neff once shared in TedTalk:

"Learning to be kind to yourself will actually increase the motivation for hard work, increase your relationships, physical and mental health, and life satisfaction."